Professor Arturo’s PROGNOSTICATIONS for 2015
The worst team in the NBA will lose a basketball game.
A FaceBook quibbler will engage in ambiguous, prevaricating, or irrelevant language or arguments to evade a point at issue.
Al Sharpton will travel somewhere.
A rapper will appear in a movie role that an accomplished, credentialed actor could’ve done.
Someone will shoot a gun in Iraq.
A professional athlete will post something controversial on TWITTER.
Someone will attempt a “prank” and get killed in the process.
TACO Bell will give a romantic, “Hispanic-sounding” name to a new menu item.
The police will kill someone who is unarmed.
A civilian will kill a civilian who is unarmed.
Someone on social media will accuse someone else of “hiding behind (in front of?) a computer screen” and being a “coward” of “FaceBook gangsta”.
A U.S. elected official will express her or his support for Israel.
An HAMAS spokesperson will express her or his condemnation of Israel.
Someone will criticize the President for taking a vacation.
Someone on social media will write, “Obama’s playin’ chess and they’re playin’ checkers.”
The next presidential election will be close.
The head of a police union will support an officer involved in a shooting.
A country’s air force will bomb somebody somewhere.
Someone will express a response to bigotry and hatred and be called a hater.
Someone will express a response to racism and be called a racist.
Someone won’t respond to anything.
The police will kill a black youth.
A black youth will kill a black youth.
Someone will enter a place of business, fake as though they’re supporting “open carry,” and commit a robbery.
Someone on FaceBook will state something ridiculous as fact -- then say it’s only their opinion (when called out on it).
Someone on FaceBook will post a meme of a celebrity saying something that he or she didn’t say.
Miley Cyrus will twerk with (on?) another man or woman and stick out her tongue.
Duck Dynasty will reveal another pearl of swamp dweller wisdom.
Atlanta Falcon and New Orleans Saints fans will despise each other.
Marijuana will be legalized in another state.
A rapper will be arrested on an illegal gun possession charge.
Will Smith will make another “summer blockbuster” movie.
A protester will be arrested in Ferguson, MO.
Someone who doesn’t vote will marvel at one of Michelle Obama’s outfits.
George Zimmerman will not get arrested for anything.
A crazed gunman will shoot up something somewhere.
The rich will get richer and the poor will get poorer.
Someone will film the police.
A police officer will “forget” to turn on her or his body camera.
A highly visual celebrity will be featured on a risqué magazine cover or a “shocking” spread.
Another year will have gone by and some people will say, “We’re in the Last Days”.
Nothing will be new under the sun.
Norwalk Community College will hire more white female professors and administrators.
An athlete who makes millions of dollars per year won’t pay his (or her) child support.
Someone will make disparaging comments about ObamaCare while praising the merits of the Affordable Care Act.
An underage person will attempt to enter a bar with a fake I.D.
You will be a year older on your next birthday.
Someone will get inebriated on Bourbon Street.
A politician or pundit will make a grossly disgusting, unfair slur -- then apologize for it.
Congress won’t play nice with Pres. Obama.
You will read a list of prognostications for the New Year.
Professor Arturo aka Arthur Pfister
Arthur Pfister is a New Orleans native. A prolific poet and short story writer, he specializes in spoken word and jazz collaborations. He is now teaching in Connecticut, but he enjoys a steady performance travel schedule that allows him to return to the Crescent City. Pfister's most recent book is My Name is New Orleans. Several of his works and an introduction to a new short fiction collection were featured in the Katrina 2012 issue of NOLADiaspora.